M. Aline

two days ago, i decided i needed to cleanse and refresh my mind, just to be able to think clearly. so i went to my happy place, or that is, my happy place in my town, the lake. we don’t have a beach here unfortunately, but the lake is just as peaceful as the ocean so the difference between the rock or sand along the shore doesn’t bother me.

(fast forward to the lake)

i was walking along the rocks, and i could feel a slight breeze fall against my skin. it was just a few weeks ago, i had finally had enough of being down in the dumps once again. this guy and i have known one another for a year already and we were slowly losing communication and not seeing each other as much anymore. we had lost that connection and when we did see each other, it was like we were meeting for the first time again and didn’t know what to say to one another. when you add dishonesty and miscommunication to the list, it just wasn’t working out anymore. we weren’t even in an official relationship yet, and there was already so much that we both needed to work on individually before we could even be together. i wasn’t in a good mindset at the time (and i’m still not completely there yet, but i’m working on it) so i took it in my own hands to stop seeing him and stop talking to him so i could focus on my own well-being. in the end, he just wasn’t what i needed. there was a short time in my life when i needed him, and he was there when i needed him, but i’ve come to realize i don’t anymore nor do i want to anymore. and there’s just a lot of reasons why it wouldn’t work out. but short story short, he just isn’t the one for me. at least, not right now. he could be the right one and this could all just be the wrong timing. who knows? all i know is, if we’re meant to be, God will make a way where there is no way and he’ll come back to me. as cliche as it sounds, it’s 100% true. if we’re meant to be, our ends will meet once again. if not, then i know God has someone 10 times better coming my way.

i figured out on that walk that i really don’t need a guy to make me happy. in fact, i came to realize that a few months into this non-official relationship. i was overjoyed the first few months into the relationship, then things just started falling downhill and i wasn’t happy at all. he couldn’t make me happy, not even my family could. i was the only one who could make myself happy.

girls act like when their relationship ends, the world ends, but that is not true. just because you don’t have a man anymore doesn’t mean the world is ending. the world spinned before he came into your life, the world isn’t gonna stop spinning just because he’s gone now. the world continues to spin regardless.

GIRLS: YOU DON’T NEED A MAN TO MAKE YOU HAPPY!!!!

if i must admit, i’m much happier now that i’m alone, than when i was with him. which is sad, but true. they say when he’s the one, you’ll know. you’ll have no doubt in your mind, but i had so many doubts, they overwhelmed me. if you’re constantly doubting your relationship, then that relationship has no worth nor means of a positive outcome.

for now, i’m just going to enjoy being alone. and when the right guy comes along, i’ll know without a doubt in my mind.

that’s all for today. i didn’t know i was gonna write this whole thing. i just started writing and before i knew it, i couldn’t stop. it feels good to let all this off my chest. thanks for listening.