M. Aline

I never imagined myself sharing these struggles.. but seeing as we’re leaving 2020 behind, I find it only fitting. This year I found myself in the darkest place I have ever been. I’ve been suffering from anxiety for six years and depression for almost nine now. My anxiety and depression hit an all time low and I’ve had more health scares than I can count. As many I’m sure, I even suffered from an unexpected and very traumatic loss. There have been nights I was afraid I wouldn’t wake up because it felt as if my chest were caving in. And there have been nights I wished nothing more than not to wake up because I was so tired of fighting. I’ve cried myself to sleep and I’ve woken up crying. I’m not proud of this version of myself and I never saw the day I would let people in to this part of my life. The most vulnerable parts of me. But I shouldn’t be ashamed of what I’ve gone through. I’m still here. I’ve made it through every time. I can guarantee if it weren’t for my faith and my love for Jesus, I would’ve been long gone years ago, but I’m thankful I didn’t give in. And I have vowed to myself that 2021 is my fresh start. To leave not only these burdens in the past, but to also open myself up to new opportunities and growth from these burdens that have weighed me down for half my life. It’s time for me to start living and stop worrying about every little thing. It’s time for me to truly start loving myself and allowing myself to change. It’s time for me to be happy. To become the woman God wants me to be. Like that one Hannah Montana song, “I’m moving on and letting go.” here’s to 2021. A fresh start not only for myself, but for each and every single one of you. Let our fruits be sweet and let them be multiplied as our hearts grow fonder of the change and growth we have yet to know. Let us close this chapter and embrace this new year. New (and renewed) relationships, fresh possibilities and opportunities, and above all: recognizing and reorganizing priorities. Jesus is King always.