M. Aline

Standing over the edge of the earth

You ask me one question

“Do you want to live or die?”

Well, you can’t live without dying

Even if just a little bit inside

But you can’t die without having lived

I guess it depends which way you fall

Do you dive into the chaos

Or trip down a rabbit hole

What do you find at the bottom of the chasm

Is it purposeful

Does it spring joy into your uttermost being

Or do you find it rising just to fall apart

Like your chest as you breathe

Do your ribs ache as you think of the possibilities

What could be, should be

So you feel

Is it better to be loved or feared

Maybe a bit of both

You want people to fear how much they love you

And do whatever they can to make you stay

You want to be loved and feared to a point where

Never will you slip through their fingers again

Or stay just because it feels safe

Comfort can be disguised as safety

And your worst nightmares

May be disguised as daydreams

Wrapping you in a cocoon

And tricking you into gambling

Gambling with the truth

Of what you need

Versus what you desire

Desires can lead to destruction

Necessities are not an option

Choose your needs over your wants

And you’ll find yourself running towards

What you were running from

Only to find the safest haven

In the arms of fate and seasons of change

No longer standing over the edge

But standing by the waves

Feet covered in sand

You can hear the siren of a distant whale

The squeals of many children

And the howling of the slightest breeze

You ask me another question

“Is it better to be loved than to not be loved at all?”

I say, it’s better to be loved than to fall

Falling is unpredictable

I can’t expect you to be there to catch me if I do

And I’m afraid of the latter

That you’ll mock me like a fool

Instead of reciprocating and feeling the same

I’d rather be loved than to not be loved

This life can be rather lonely to walk without a human hand to hold

I often wonder how I’ve gone this long

Without a mutual connection

That longing and yearning to be around another

The entertainment of stars in the sky

Moonlight painting the pavement

Reflecting off an old Chevy your family gave you

Many scenarios pass through my head

Fleeting memories

And words left unsaid

Memories that haven’t been made

They’re just scenarios in my head

Just my thoughts and feelings I suppose

Felt the need to spill it off my chest

Dust off my boots

And let the rain pour

Wash away this reality

—M. Aline