M. Aline

to the ones who feel they don’t have a purpose, i’ve been there. it’s normal. truth is, you could have your whole life planned out, going to college, getting a degree, becoming who you’ve always wanted to be, etc., or maybe not having a plan at all, and yet, the question still lingers, “what is my purpose?” or “what am i doing with my life?” i feel strongly there’s a part of us deep down that will never know as with many things in life.

 

i’ve had many plans of how i thought my life would go and none of them have worked out. i went into modeling thinking that could’ve been it for me, it didn’t work out. i went into wedding planning, that didn’t work out. i’ve already worked two jobs and both of those didn’t work out. so what now?

 

deep down, i always had this burning desire for writing. i didn’t know what it was about writing that drew me in. maybe it was the falling and tracing of words, maybe it was the precision and how delicately or harshly they were expressed, i don’t know. all i know is that it found a way of reeling me in at such a young age. as i grew older, i found writing to be my escape. my escape from reality, my home away from home. embedded into the pages of many notebooks were my thoughts and feelings. writing became my only way of releasing and expressing my emotions. it’s something i hold very dear and personal to my heart, but over the years, i’ve decided to share pieces of it with you. i’ve finally made the decision to pursue it as a career, but in order for me to go into editorial, i have to have an associate’s degree in Journalism, so that’s what i’m doing. or i plan on doing.

 

yet i’m still questioning myself, “what am i doing?”

 

i think where we go wrong a lot of the times when we plan out our life, is that we forget to include God. we forget that He’s there, rooting for us the whole time. we give up easily. something doesn’t work out, we say, “i can’t do this, NEXT” and God is saying, “no, you can do it, try again”

 

it’s so easy for us to get caught up in our own plan; we forget who created us and who already knows our beginning, our middle, and our end, who already knew us before we were even formed in the womb. He has a plan for our lives already but we get so caught up in what WE want for our future when that may not be in God’s will for us to have. are we willing to sacrifice our wants for what we actually need? are we willing to give up our plans for God’s plans? that’s a choice we have to make. a choice that, in fact, is not an easy one to make whatsoever.

 

i’m not gonna lie to you, i’m a control freak. i like to be in control of the situations in my life, and when i can’t, well, let’s just say i’m quite the fireball. i’m not the easiest human being to deal with. however, i’ve come to a realization over the past few years that there comes a time you just gotta put your own pride and ego aside and hand the reigns to God. i’m not proud to admit, but even i can be quite prideful. i like to think i can do everything on my own, when i know deep down i can’t, but i won’t ask for help even when i know i need it. not my best quality, i know. that’s one of many areas i need to grow and improve. point of the matter is, we can’t do it on our own. we need people. but most of all, we need God.

 

maybe your situation feels hopeless, you feel like just giving up. DON’T. i promise it gets better, it might take some time, but everything will work out. BUT WITH GOD. include Him and then see how your life changes. at the end of the day, i don’t think any of us truly know what we’re doing and that’s okay. we’re constantly changing and growing every single day, heck, every second even. it’s okay to change your mind, it’s okay to ask for help, and it’s okay to not know. after all, that is what life is about right? figuring things out, growing and changing, making mistakes, living and learning, not knowing what’s gonna happen but finding peace in knowing that God is in control. let Him handle the reigns, and sit back for once. He sees you. He knows what you’re going through. no matter who you are, no matter what you’re going through: He will pull you through. you are not alone.