M. Aline

There are many things society has embedded into our minds since we were teenagers that we have grown into believing as adults; but there is one thing that has been embedded more than anything else and that is to love yourself. People post this one quote twenty-four seven… “If you can’t love yourself, how can you love someone else? How do you expect to receive it if you can’t give it?” It can be conflicting to say that this mentality is the wrong mentality to have, but it is. While it may sound right and true, it’s deceiving. It’s as if you’re mentally preparing yourself to be pushed aside when that someone comes along if you don’t fully love yourself. I, myself, have always been conflicted about this. But as I’ve been digging deeper into the Word and just growing older, I’ve come to realize that this is not the case. God is going to bring that someone into your life regardless of how you’re feeling or what you’re going through at that moment. He’s not going to put certain things or people in your life when YOU’RE ready…but when HE’S ready. It’s in His timing, not yours.

And if we truly dig into our Bible, we will discover that there is only one verse that mentions loving who God created you to be. In Proverbs 19:8 KJV, we read: “He that getteth wisdom loveth his own soul: he that keepeth understanding shall find good.” Notice that this doesn’t talk about loving YOURSELF but loving YOUR SOUL. We can find many other verses that allude to being thankful and content, but not preaching self-love. Psalm 139:13-15 is a classic verse that mentions how the Lord formed us and knitted us in our mother’s womb…but what we don’t pay attention to is the verse that states, “Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth.” My SOUL knows…it doesn’t say “I” know, but “my soul” knows.

Ephesians 5:29 ESV says, “For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church…” While we are not made to hate ourselves, we are also not made to love ourselves but our souls. We are to cherish and nourish the bodies God has given us, not to destroy them.

Much of what the world preaches when it comes to self-love has caused all of us, at some point or another, to become conceited and full of ourselves. We believe that we deserve certain people or certain things when the truth is, we don’t deserve any of it. We are unworthy sinners who are saved by the grace of God. Arrogance is not of the Lord which is why it’s questionable how we believed this lie for so long: that we should love OURSELVES first. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 ESV proves this as it confirms, “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endues all things. Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away.”

In conclusion, I think it’s time we start to unravel the lies that society has slowly persuaded us into believing over the years and start reflecting what the Bible has spoken. We are to love not ourselves, but the soul we carry. Because at the end of the day, it’s our souls that are affected.

—M. Aline